How to OUTWIT Expectation Hangover & Crush Your 2020 Goals

Sometimes, a lot of the pain that come our way happen when we allow ourselves to see life a certain way. Today, Stefanie Peters is challenging you to see life differently - things didn't happen to you, they happened for you. 2020 can either happen to us or we can happen to 2020! Now is your time to fire your fear, build your faith, and become the boss of your own life. Don’t miss this episode so discover how you can outwit expectation hangover and crush your 2020 goals.

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How to OUTWIT Expectation Hangover & Crush Your 2020 Goals

It is the new decade, 2020. I can't even believe that we're here. Thanks so much for tuning in. I had someone share my episode on How to Take The Leap when I moved across the country. These shares mean the world to me. It's so fun to see how these different episodes have impacted your life and how you are paying it forward. Thank you for being an amazing tribe and community. I appreciate you. I wanted to purposefully wait to release this episode later because most people stick with their resolutions for about fourteen days. If you've stuck with yours longer, congratulations. If you've fallen off the train, join the party.

For real, I wanted to jump on here to encourage you, kick you in the butt and remind you of the possibilities for this new decade. I felt strongly called to share with you what helped me in 2019 that I'm carrying over to 2020 of three boss bold moves to outwit expectation hangover and to crash your 2020 goals. I will be the first to admit that 2019 was crazy. I had some massive expectations. Expectations aren't bad but where the true stress comes from is when your expectations aren't meeting your reality. I contemplated even sharing some personal things in this episode because sometimes, when I'm scrolling through social media, I think to myself, "That should have stayed a little bit more personal." I'm not a huge fan of airing dirty laundry on social, but I felt called to share this because it may help someone who's going through something similar.

I'm going to take a deep breath and share my heart in this episode and some things that have been game-changers for me to up-level your A-game here in the new year and beyond. I'm going to go back to that episode that someone shouted out randomly from last July of 2019. It was all revolving around how to take the leap. To let you know, I didn't share a lot of components of my story, but I didn't exactly share the whole story about my move across the country and sold everything. I'll backtrack to I woke up on February 13th of 2019, my 30th birthday. I'm dating myself. It was raining. It was a dreary day. It was not one of my favorites. I'm being a little bit dramatic but honestly, I had a little mini midlife crisis. Don't get me wrong, I was living a good life. As I reflect from 20 to 30, I thank God for all of His blessings. Most would clarify my life as good. I built a $1 million business online. I became the youngest female Executive Director in a $1 billion company. I wrote a bestselling book. I founded the Lady Boss Empire, and I’ve spoken all over the United States to thousands of people and I truly am blessed.

When I got quiet, I knew I didn't want the next ten years to look identical to the last ten years. My soul was calling for a shift and it was a massive shift. I had dreams that came into my mind when I hit 30 that I had never had. I'm going to share three things that were massive things that I wanted to change. There were many more, but I'm not going to keep you here all day. The first one is a little bit shallow, let's be real. The other one does mean something to me. Number one of the big massive shifts that I wanted to make, I didn't want to live in the frozen tundra for the rest of my life, a.k.a. Minnesota. For all of those Minnesotans that love snow, more power to you. I remember when the weatherman came on and he said, "Congratulations, Minnesota. You've broken the records for the number of days below zero." I was like, "That is not a record that needs to be broken." I decided then and there that I'm going to be a snowbird. That snowbird decision turned into a full-time decision. Nonetheless, that was a shift that I wanted to make.

Number two, in many years, I have been building my real estate empire, but I haven't talked that much about it. I want to share with people on another level how to dial into how real estate can truly change their lives and bring in another strong stream of income. I want to help people build their empires through real estate because it's such an amazing leverage tool. Number three, this one is extremely vulnerable but I will share it anyways. I didn't want to be a one-woman band anymore. I hit 30 and if any of you have heard the song, One Man Band by Old Dominion, I saw myself in the female version of it, a one-woman band.

Here's the thing. If anyone knows me, they know I have never desired to get married. Even one of my business partners, Trey, we were driving down to Iowa for a business meeting and I'm 22 years old. He asked me point-blank, "When do you want to get married, Stef?" I looked at him confused and I said, "Married? I'm good. I don't need a man and I am building my empire." He looked at me and he's like, "I’ve never met a girl like that. That's weird." If anyone knows me, they know that that hasn't been a goal of mine ever. I woke up on my 30th birthday and I thought to myself, "You can have all the success in the world, but if you can't share it with someone, what's it worth?" I love my life, but I don't want to continue to build my empire alone. I have an amazing tribe, team and collaborations, but I thought to myself, "One can put 1,000 to flight, but two can put 10,000 to flight.” That's in business but that is also in life. I’m putting it out there. I've ventured out to Florida, I dialed into real estate, I dialed into romance and I dialed into wanting amazing weather. Those were the top three things. In 2019, I started to dial into real estate and it is booming on another level.

I am sharing with you now, this 2020, it's going to be dedicated solely to you to help you build your empire through real estate. I'm going to be bringing on all the experts, anywhere from the Airbnb space, flips, buy and holds, student housing, short sales and all of the things. If you have specific questions, please reach out to me on Instagram. Ask me your questions at @LadyBoss_SP and I would love to answer your questions here on the air. Number one, real estate and we’ll be dialing into that and helping you to up-level your A-game in that arena. Number two, I have been enjoying the amazing weather. I got back from running on the beach.

Number one, real estate and helping you. We're well on the way, check. Number two, running on the beach, amazing weather, check. Number three, romance. That went a little differently in my head. If you have not read the book, Draw The Circle, I would highly recommend it. It changed my spiritual life. It changed my business life. It's a 40-day prayer challenge and it is powerful. I went on a prayer fast for 40 days and out of nowhere, a mutual friend introduced me to this amazing man and things were going in a phenomenal direction. We were talking about marriage. As quickly as things heated up, they unraveled and came tumbling down.

It was a mutual break-up but that was hard. I don't even know if my soul has ever felt the depths of feeling what I felt. That's a whole other episode. When I put it into perspective, I look back on that. If I would've done that 40-day prayer challenge, met the man of my dreams and be married by Christmas, do you think I would have that compassion for that woman that has gone through hell and back and had that super hard break-up when she felt her heart was being smashed in 1,000 pieces? I'm a type-A lady boss. I would not have felt her pain. I learned more about relationships in the last few months than I have in the last few years.

Crushing Your 2020 Goals: Most of our stress comes in life when there's a big gap between how we think life should be and what reality is.

Now, I can connect truly on a deeper level with that lady boss that has gone through some pretty massive pain. Whatever you went through in 2019, know that it's not in vain. Know that there is a purpose beyond us that sometimes we can't see. To sum up 2019 honestly, it was a hurricane. I honestly did survive Hurricane Dorian. I don't regret a single thing. I had to disrupt my default life in order to dial-in to the life of my dreams. I had some major expectation hangover. This is what I have found. Most of our stress comes in life when there's a big gap between how we think life should be and what reality is.

Stop Consulting Your Feelings And Start Taking Massive Actions On Your Dreams

What causes the most anxiety and worry is when we try to predict the future and then we refuse to accept it when it doesn't go our way. I feel like our problems don't derail us, but our expectations do and can totally strip us of our power if we aren't self-aware of what is going on. Here are the three boss bold moves that have been a game-changer in my life, that have been able to outwit the expectation hangover that I experienced on a massive level in 2019 so that it can set you up to crush your goals here in 2020. Number one, stop consulting your feelings and start taking massive actions on your dreams. I realize if you are not in a great mental place, you might not be able to take that massive action on your dreams. If you can't take massive action even if it's small, take the next best step.

There were days that I was a hot mess going through that break-up. I remember the Monday after it happened. I decided to stay with my parents for a couple of days and my dad asked me how I was doing as he was walking through the living room as I'm studying for this real estate test. I said, "I'm doing fine," and I start bawling. I'm not asking you to not feel your emotions. You have to process them because what we bury never dies. I gave myself that permission to cry but I wiped away those tears and I read the next chapter in my real estate book. I took the next test because we can get so caught up in those emotions and they can hold us back in perpetuity from that next step in our life.

That's what I want to challenge you on. You don't have to have it all figured out but stop dialing into the emotions. They fail us. They send us on a path that isn't always in alignment with the best version of our self. Think about what is the next best step that I can take even after things went differently in my head. In the past, I blamed the enemy. I even have a T-shirt that says, “Not Today, Satan,” but let's get real. I like to ask myself this question, "Is it the enemy that's derailing me or is it the inner me that is holding me back from that next level living?”

Let's even say that you want to lose weight. We justify it in our minds when we go to Starbucks and we are like, "I need that 1,000-calorie Starbucks drink." No, we need to strengthen our mental muscles. Kick ourselves in the butt and say, "You're better than that. You can go to that next level." Let's say you want to write that book and then when evening comes, you're like, "I need to relax. I need to watch some Netflix until midnight." No, you don't. You need to get your butt in bed at 10:00 PM so that you can join the 5:00 AM club to write that book to open the doors of opportunity for yourself and pay that forward to give other people permission to live their dreams. Let's get real. When we fight for our limitations, we get to keep them. I want to challenge you, focus and lean in. When we have those thoughts, we can act independently of them. You aren't your thoughts, let those thoughts pass.

You don't have to feel like now is your day, but you have to act like it is. We have to get to the point where we are performing brave actions even when we don't feel brave. Doing changes are thinking. Our thoughts are rarely in our best interest. Another thing that's been helpful to me to get past the expectations is focus in and go all out on a major project. I feel like our limits melt away when we're in our zone of genius. Action cures all fear. I want to encourage you, stop waiting for the magical feeling. Ready is a lie. Buckle up, stomp on the gas pedal, ready or not. Our biggest successes are born in our discomfort, our uncertainty and risk.

Stop Searching For Certainty And Start Embracing Life

I have an alarm that I put on my phone and it goes off every morning and the question is how will you crush your comfort zone now? What is that one thing that you can do to get yourself out of your own way? Number one, to summarize it, what you wanted to do is stop consulting your feelings and take massive action on your dreams. If you can't take massive action, take that next best step. Number two, stop searching for certainty and start embracing this adventure called life. If anyone knows me, they know I have this picture-perfect idea in my life of how life is supposed to go. When it doesn't line up with reality, I tend to freak out. Now, when it doesn't line up, I reframe the situation and I accept full responsibility.

I could have beaten myself over the head this 2019 and slammed on the brakes because the situations that I put myself in were not familiar at all. I was completely outside of my comfort zone. My mantra is I marry the process, I divorce the results. If I succeed, I celebrate. If I fail, I recalibrate. I’ve decided I'm going to embrace the life that I have and not the one that I expected to have. I still have those expectations and I still go all out for your dreams. When our feelings are off, we tend to pull ourselves out of life. We tend to not play full out. I want to challenge you to get out of your own head and into your life. If you continually live by your emotions, you're going to be left with regret. The old Stefanie years ago would have slammed on the brakes going through 2019 when everything was happening so fast. I decided I was going to be open to the crazy. I was going to be open to the adventure.

Stop Sharing Big Goals With Small Minds

I learned lessons in 2019 that was painful, but yet they were priceless. I learned so much about myself, what type of legacy I wanted to leave, the type of collaborations I wanted to create. At the end of the day, we know in life, pain is inevitable. I want to choose the pain that has the payoff. Number three is destroy your validation button. In other words, stop taking financial advice from a broke person or sharing big goals with small minds. You're never going to achieve your full potential if you're hooked by what other people think. I read this and I thought this was so good, “You can change your life overnight if you simply abandon the notion that other people's opinions matter. If you want to win, you have to be willing to be judged by others and not let it get to you.”

Crushing Your 2020 Goals: Our limits melt away when we're in our zone of genius.

I had a Post-it note that I put in my bathroom in 2019 and it reminded me, "Here's your reminder that you don't need anyone to validate you, give you permission or tell you how to play the game. That is your job. Own it and act accordingly.” Here's the truth, validation has to come from within if you want to live out your God-given destiny. One of my biggest takeaways from 2019 is that I'm only going to let validation come from within. Even if my inner circle doesn't agree or understand my path, I'm going to move forward anyway. I know it says in the word of God, "In the multitude of counselors there is wisdom,” which is true but at the end of the day, no one is you and no one has your dreams. Don’t share big dreams with small minds.

Even your friends may have the best of intentions or your family even and they want to protect you. Honestly, what all their opinion is doing is limiting your next level living and your true potential. I was on the phone with a girlfriend and she is one of my besties. We've been besties for a very long time. She said something that hurt me and it rubbed me the wrong way. She doesn't approve of the path that I'm on. Years ago, I would've jumped back in fear, questioned my path, try to fit into the box she wants me to fit in, but I didn't do that on that conversation. I took a deep breath and shared why I'm choosing the path that I'm on right now. She still doesn't agree and that is okay.

My stomach would have been in knots and I would have let her opinion rent space in my head. Now, I truly operate in my truth and my rule of thumb is validation comes from within. It comes from God. I can't even put into words, it's so priceless, it is extremely freeing. One of my favorite quotes I lean into when I'm having a validation issue that comes up is by a fellow podcaster, Jenna Kutcher. I freaking love that girl. I put this in my new book, "Take people's opinions with a grain of salt, add pepper, noodles, some cheese because of mac and cheese matters more than what anyone thinks about you.”

In 2019, in a nutshell, it was a hell of a year, to say the least. I moved across the country. I made major shifts in my career. I spoke across the country at multiple events. I started and ended a relationship that I thought was the one. I dialed into real estate investing and I'm creating a platform for investors. I moved into an office. I've hired and fired employees. I've almost finished my upcoming book and online course. I’ve worked hard to set myself free of validation issues. Do you know how many times I wanted to default and run back to what I know? I don't think I can count that high. Every time I wanted to bolt back to comfort, I dialed-in to what life would look like if I went back, which is a good life. There’s nothing wrong with that but my soul wanted more. My soul was calling to soar to new heights.

Throughout 2019, I kept going back to I decided to discipline my disappointments, dial-in to the life I’ve always dreamed of, burn the boats and got back to work. Even when the insecurities, doubts and unbeliefs popped up, I refused to let my mind go there. Ready is a lie. There's never a perfect time. I'm all about the ready, fire, aim. Did I know how to run a successful brick and mortar business? No, but I'm doing it. Did I feel comfortable hiring and firing employees? No, but I'm doing it. Did I know how to create an online course? No, I still don't but I'm outsourcing it. That's why I am so passionate about the book that I'm launching and even the online course. I want to be that 24/7 coach stepping you through everything that's going to pop up, help you to set up the strategy and walk you step by step through all the crazy that you're going to encounter.

Crushing Your 2020 Goals: God has called you to a higher standard, to be the one who gives 100%.

I want to help you navigate that entrepreneurial journey, sidestep those time-wasters and get you on the fast track to achieving your God-sized dreams. I want to give you those amazing resources to help you start the podcast, write the book, create another stream of income. Whatever your God-sized dream is, I want to be here to guide and direct you. When I look back at 2019, I see a tornado, a hurricane, a roller coaster type of a year. It’s not exactly something I'd want to repeat, but I had to disrupt the default to get on the path to the life of my dreams.

My word in 2020 is disruptor. I am here to disrupt your default life and get you on the path to your dreams. It's crazy how we can be on the right path for many years and then get knocked off by one degree by a disappointment or how someone treated us or how life went differently in our head. Instead of landing at our destination we've always dreamed of, we're hundreds of miles away. Just as I did, I want to let you know it's okay to re-evaluate, realign and recalibrate. It's essential if you want to get to your destination. Some people at the end of 2020 are going to wake up in the exact same place as the end of 2019. They're going to let 2020 happen to them. I want to challenge you to not let that be you. You're better than that. Let the 50-percenters do 50%. Let the 80-percenters do 80% but not you. God has called you to a higher standard. The one-percenters who give 100%, I don't believe 2020 is going to happen to you. I believe you are going to happen to 2020. I want to cheer you on big time and I would love to meet you in person.

I'm doing a book tour, so if you're interested in learning more about locations and dates, send me a message on IG, @Ladyboss_SP. I would be honored to give you a huge hug, hear about your dreams that you are going all out in pursuing 2020 so that I can truly cheer you on all the way. Here's my closing challenge to you. Go out and run your race. I see you. I understand a lot of the pain that life sometimes can put in our way when we allow ourselves to see life a certain way. I want you to see life differently. It didn't happen to you, it happened for you. I want to let you know that I'm proud of you. I see the struggles but I see how you're choosing to boss up. Know that I am in your corner and I believe in you.

As I end almost every episode, 2020 can either happen to us or we can happen to 2020. Now is your time to fire your fear, build your faith and become the boss of your own life. Let's do this. I want to meet you on the book tour. I want to hear your wins. I want to hear the things that you have gone through that have been extremely hard, but how you powered through and you have no idea. You can't even wrap your head or imagine the lives that is going to impact because you run your race. Let's go, guys. Let's make it happen. Be blessed. You've got what it takes.